Image: Michael Kenny
Deyr fé,
deyja frændr,
deyr sjálfr et sama;
ek veit einn,
at aldri deyr:
dómr um dauðan hvern.
What that basically means, according to the sayings of the High One in Old Icelandic poetry, is that wealth and friends will die and one day you will die yourself; but there is one thing that never dies and that is the reputation of the honoured person who has passed on.
Reputations are precious, aren't they? And we can be pretty precious about them, too...
It's never a nice experience to find out that someone you really respected and thought you had a good and open relationship with has been saying less than fair or flattering things about you behind your back -- to others you know and respect. Especially when it potentially has some bearing on your professional reputation.
It can leave you feeling helpless and reeling under the impression that, in gravy train industries (education is not immune), things can sometimes be colossally unfair or just downright nasty.
Have less pity for yourself and more for the 'slagger', however. The best reputations are forged on what you do and how, not whom you happen to know or have 'pleased' enough to promote your standing.
Slagging can be compulsive behaviour to some, especially if it becomes a way for them to feel bigger about themselves. That seemingly arrogant person smiling to your face but having a go at you behind your back is usually pretty damned miserable. They're often fearful as well; they're scared of becoming less relevant, worried they won't matter as much as they did before. Solution? Put others down, subtly (and if possible with apparent magnanimity) so as to leave themselves looking and feeling taller.
But a pedestal self-built on slag tends to end up looking (if not feeling) pretty sticky and pitiable.
What you do and the interactions you have with people one on one, one by one, really matter. Most people are well armed with grains of salt, and they can see patterns. They'll take you for what you are, based on what they see for themselves and not what they hear from others.
No matter how 'big' those others' names are, they can't disguise their habitual digressions into small behaviour. Just as with your reputation, their reputations eventually end up speaking for themselves.
;-D
