Don't worry anymore if you're wondering what the hell KLOUT is all about and how on Earth you're supposed to have more of it.
There's a new social networking ranking system about to be launched, with the aim of being much more up front and honest about this whole rather ridiculous caper of human beings having social scores. It's called FLAUNT and goes straight to the heart of what this is really all about: promoting yourself mercilessly and making YOU the centre of THEIR social networking universe.
FLAUNT starts off with a refreshingly honest sign up procedure. As part of the registration, you have to agree to 'like', 'plus' and 'tweet' FLAUNT itself at least three times a day across all your existing social networks (don't worry, they have a tool that lets you automate this process, because you and they understand that social networking is not really about human beings consciously and deliberately gathering and disseminating information). You also have to agree to a plug in linked to Linked In which once a day publicizes FLAUNT and notifies everyone that you are very much linked in to yourself, and apparently there's a hook up with Foursquare (soon to be renamed For Squares) that automatically notifies everyone that you're located at you.
The payoff is that this process immediately raises your FLAUNT score to 50 out of 100, because you've shown that commitment to flaunt FLAUNT, and because you've flaunted FLAUNT you have a solid platform for starting to flaunt YOU.
As for the other tips and tricks about using FLAUNT and raising your score, don't worry. Just do what we've all already become accustomed to doing on our social networks, but (if this is even remotely possible) try to be even more trivial and self-centred about it. FLAUNT will reward you.
You don't need to feel dirty or sneaky about it anymore. FLAUNT is transparent: it's about YOU, and thanks to the culture emerging in social networking, the fact YOU are becoming more transparent (heck, haven't you noticed how you can see right through yourself in your reflection in the Internet mirror these days?) is something to be celebrated and rewarded with a more impressive FLAUNT score. Everything's out of the closet with FLAUNT. Including the fact that today you can't decide which scarf to wear.
So if you have doubts about your Klout, don't despair. Very soon you'll be able to haunt yourself and everyone you know with a serious, reliable and verifiable FLAUNT score.
:-)
