No matter how child-friendly the decor happens to be, it is really up to teachers to create positive first impressions for parents.
Image: Christy Sheffield
As a teacher of children and teens, I can tell you one thing I've learned about parents who also happen to be teachers: they can be the very best or the very worst parents you need to deal with.
Based on my own experiences at the teacher's end of things, since having children and sending them to things like child care, kindergarten and (now) school, I've always tried to be the former -- the "good guy" parent who is supportive of my children's teachers and carers, instills respect and consideration in the children towards their teachers, and shows a willingness to connect and get involved hopefully without becoming judgmental or interfering.
But in many ways that's also a two-edged blade. When I personally see teacher/carer behaviour that I feel is lacking or less professional than it should be, it gets the double whammy of my disapproval as a teacher and -- more importantly -- my concern as a parent.
I'm not going to suggest for a second that teachers need to be butt-kissish to the parents of their pupils. But (and you might like to call me old fashioned here) I would assert that how you present yourself to and communicate with parents is really crucial.
Why?
First of all, these people are your (indirect, admittedly) employers, irrespective of whether it is a public or private education setting. Whether through direct fees or through the taxes they pay, they are essentially paying your wages. I think that gives them the right to a little basic respect and consideration.
Secondly, most parents are intimately and emotionally connected to their children in a way that suggests how you respond to and treat parents (and/or how you respond to the child in their presence) will form a sort of ongoing portrayal of the environment their children will be subject to while they are away. Basically, if you (as the teacher) act like a disinterested and socially inept ass when the parents come to drop off their kids, the parents are quite likely to go home thinking this is what it's going to be like for their kids... all day long!
But those aspects pale beside the final reason, in all honesty. A child's education and development starts and extends well beyond the bounds of a school classroom. The role of parents in that cannot be emphasised enough. It makes blatant good sense to me for teachers and parents to get to know each other and create the essential lines of communication and respect that facilitate more of a teamwork approach.
With so many of the children I've taught who were happy and progressing well in my classroom, so much of it came back to having not only good, caring, interested parents but also a good connection between teacher and parents. The classroom was just a focal point for certain types of learning. Being on good open terms with parents allowed the development to flow beyond that into the child's life at home, and also for me to find the best ways to understand and make the most of a child's actual classroom time.
So where do teachers and parents start this process?
Basically, in my opinion, by making good first impressions.
For parents, I think this involves being friendly and showing a respectful attitude to the teacher in front of the child (and other children). Being understanding and not getting into a teacher's face with expectations of lots of 1-1 attention. Sitting back and letting the teacher do his/her thing.
And for the teacher?
Well, put it this way, here are a variety of things I'd recommend based on what I have seen as a teacher in schools but also as a parent seeing new carers or teachers in action with my children.
1. Say hello and smile
It may not sound like a huge ask, but I'm constantly surprised by how much of a dilemma this appears to pose for so many teachers of children. And for goodness' sake, at least say hello and smile to the child!
2. Get off your butt
Of course, if you're busy actually teaching or preparing something, then there can be exceptions to this rule. But if you're not particularly busy with something at the time, lounging on your chair (or worse, lounging on your chair and staring out the window) and retaining that pose when a parent enters your classroom with their child is like saying "I'm lazy" or "I'm really not interested in this caper." Combine that with the lack of hello and smile, and as a teacher-parent I'm very sorely tempted to wander over and kick the chair out from underneath you.
3. Find out and remember names
If you're going to care for/teach my child, and you don't know his/her name after the first two days, then things seriously don't bode well at all. I understand also (based on experience) that it can be a hard ask to remember every child's parents' names, but I can also tell you that parents appreciate the effort. And heck, it isn't rocket science really... There's a pretty impressive chance that the parent will have the same surname as the child whose name you should already know, so a "Hello Mr./Mrs. blablabla" would be a fair punt, and then there's always "Hi blablabla's mum/dad."
In any case, people appreciate being treated as people (names helps this impression), not statistics in an enrolment file.
4. Make a connection (the smart way)
Let's face it, it's a real challenge to meet, get to know and make a connection of some sort with twenty new children, much less do the same sort of thing for anywhere from 20-40 new parents! When I was teaching children it was even worse: in a new term I might have up to 120 new children to teach... But something as simple as a personal letter or note sent home with the child sometime after the first 1-2 weeks, saying hello, showing you've noticed something about the child and his/her preferences or talents, suggesting ways to open a dialogue between teacher and parents on terms that are feasible for the teacher (say particular times good for chatting, or an email address to write to) -- this can make such a difference.
5. Look interested and happy to be there, or don't be there...
Hey, grumpy-bum, I never asked you to be a teacher. If you're not happy doing this job, sod off and do something else and don't take it out on me and -- much more importantly -- my child by taking and "suffering along through" this job because you couldn't find that other direction in life you originally aspired to.
I don't personally think that's an unattainable basic wish-list, as a parent and a teacher!
Of course, relationships between teachers and parents are complex and important things that develop over time. It's a huge and complicated area to address, but one that I think is fundamental to our roles as teachers. To learn and develop more in this area, I particularly recommend Larry Ferlazzo's outstanding book Building Parent Engagement at Schools.
But in the meantime, make those first impressions a priority. They really do count.
=D
